I can’t stop looking at cats for adoption on Craigslist. I want to adopt them all. And then just roll around in a big pile o’ cats. For real, that would probably be the best thing that ever happened to me. And if shit never got real, and I never had to return the mass cats I adopted? Well, that would just be fine. All 8,000 cats and I would live in peace and harmony for the rest of our lives.
Actually, I would argue that “You Belong To Me” song and/or video is a triumph of girl-on-girl sexism. Starting with the first verse (“She’s going off about something that you said / She doesn’t get your humor like I…
As I told you, perhaps people don’t call you a butthead to your face, but I’m sure it happens all the time behind your back. I just happen to be the only person sassy enough to tell you to your face. Your pretentiousness is unbearable, and sometimes I hate you. And, by the way:
1. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
2. something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one. 3. an inaccurate or false statement. Nothing about malicious intent. Just the intent to deceive. So ha. Fibbing is completely a subsect of lying. Suck it. I win.
For the record: I do not obsess about my clothing, nor the clothing of others. However, when you have to get dressed in the dark because your roommate is asleep 5 inches away from you, and you pull the wrong pair of stockings (BECAUSE WHEN IT IS 40 DEGREES OUT STOCKINGS ARE APPROPRIATE), there is a distinct possibility that I’m going to vent about it.
Sometimes I want to kill people. I wouldn’t. Clearly. But I wish.
Don’t you love when you pick your outfit only to realize you chose the wrong tights and the wrong shirt? Blue tights and a green shirt instead of black and gray. And then because your tights are the wrong color, your shoes look weird. And because your shirt is the wrong color, your sweater looks weird. And everything is just wrong. And your skirt is too small, riding up your butt, and giving the whole world who walks behind you up stairs a beautiful view of your ass.