Life’s not a fairytale. No prince is going to run in and rescue you from your tower. The best thing you can do in this life is to have faith in you and be yourself in a world constantly telling you it’s not good enough. Grab life by the horns and embrace the strength in your heart of gold.
So apparently the only reason I’m going to school is because my mom wants me to find a suitable husband. Because ‘I’ll never meet one of those in WCC’. The man to look out for shares cultural interests with me. He doesn’t HAVE to be Catholic. But he shouldn’t be without faith either. He also HAS to have money. If he doesn’t, I shouldn’t date him. And if I do decide to ruin my life and date him, he is NEVER TO BE INVITED HOME. Forget my education, or the aspirations in life. My goal is to find a rich faith-filled man to impregnate me and give my mother grandchildren. WHAT IS MY LIFE. I’ve never been so ready to punch a baby in the head. WHY? WHY? WHY? I don’t want a baby! I don’t want a husband! I want an education and a life of my own where I can do something I’m proud of. Something that is for me and me alone. Sorry mom. Husband is not on my to find list.
I don’t care how it works out. I’m literally about 5 seconds away from ripping out my spinal column. I have work today and furniture to drag out of the house, so to my Supreme Being, if you could throw a bone my way and take away this teeth-gritting trauma, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks so much for all of your help. I now have freakin scratches and blood all over my legs because you wouldn’t help me move the freakin bikes around the other side of the freakin house. Thanks also for selling ALL of my books without asking me. I really appreciated it. No really. Because who wants childhood memories? Or books they haven’t even read yet. Not me. I love spending money for nothing. My clothes are gone, my books are gone, my pictures are gone. Did you save ANYTHING of mine? No. But thank GOD that you have your SIX MOTHEREFFING SHOE CADDIES. Really, mom? Really? And to top it all off, I now may need freakin stiches because my scar opened up again. Love you, freakin mother of mine.
I have never messed up cutting my hair. Oh man, I messed it up today though. Bangs. So few bangs. They’re at the top of my eyebrows. Oh gad. So bad. I can’t wait for the day they decide to grow a little. Until then, rockin the panda hat over and over and over again.
The string I held the world on has broken and now life spins out of control. Stars and constellations whizz by as my world tumbles into the infinite dark. The precarious ledge has tipped to tears and the world crashes into the ocean. When will the sun come out? To lighten the darkness and dry up the depths to which my world has tumbled?
Thanks to Law & Order SVU, I keep having nightmares that packs of wild hyenas are eating me whole except for my bling which they can’t digest. And upsetting as that is, I always seem more upset in the dream after hungry hungry hyena #1 rips my leg off and gets blood on the clothes in my closet. I make no sound as I’m sitting there limbless but as soon as I see the red on my prom dress I just start screaming. Dream me is so materialistic.
I’m scared I picked the wrong place, the wrong time, and the wrong people. How do I know what my life is destined to be? All I want is to make a difference in someone other than myself but this seems to be a more lofty goal than I thought. What is redesigning a room in my grandmother’s room for myself going to do for anyone but me? I’m questioning everything. And I’m really scared of being alone.