i love maine and all but there are several serious problems with the state.
First and foremost, drivers need to learn some aggression out there. i know i was on vacation and supposed to be relaxing but i thought i was going to die of old age before reaching my destinations. The gas pedal in your car is meant to be used, Mainers. So pedal to the metal, or at least hit double digits when the speed limit is 30. Secondly, shoobies- you are at the beach. You do not need socks. You don’t need them with sandals, you don’t need them with flip flops, and you don’t need them with your mother effing DlSGUSTlNG CROCS. Seriously, crocs are the ultimate offensive footwear. You should not be able to eat your footwear. l mean, what would happen in reality is that your stomach wouldn’t be able to process the rubber and you would end up profusely vomiting, but whatever. THEY’RE GROSS. DON’T WEAR THEM. And third, Ogunquit playhouse, l can see a Broadway show for less than you charged me. You should probably consider lowering your prices. Especially considering what l had to endure: namely an extremely mediocre rendition of one of the world’s simplest shows to put up.
a) why did sav have to sneak out of the classroom? couldn’t he have been like, hey teacher, i am sick and need to go to the nurse. but no. he was weird. b) Declan’s eyebrows need to match his hair. c) ummmm wtf is emma talking about with transferring? You want to transfer back to the town where you were almost shot, watched another student get shot, experienced the death of one of your best friends in a stabbing and got chlamydia. Good thinking. l would want to take that 1,2 trip down memory lane all the time too. d) you would think working in a sandwich shop, they would invest in a panini press that doesn’t explode. or act like dynamite and take down the whole building. e) ew Jane, ew. he’s like 40. And sir, please step away from the young girl. f) Okay, Fiona being crazy and Holly locking her in a closet… g) where is this weird spinner/emma shit coming from? AND WHY DlD THEY JUST GET MARRlED? and YOU ARE NOT lN LOVE. STFU. The only reason you’re married is because you were drunk. Really, Emma? You’re upset he hasn’t gotten rid of his Jane box yet? They broke up 2 days ago, and now he’s married to you. Are you that surprised you’re a rebound? And what are you going to do when you find out that key on his back opens Jane’s heart shaped lock tramp stamp? h) Jane, holder of the record for shortest band membership ever. i) EMMA, YOU ARE CRAZY…. what are you crying about? YOU ARE NOT lN LOVE. j) Spike’s hair Spikes hair Spikes hair Spikes hair…. oh my lanta. Grow that shit out and dye it back. And doesn’t Emma have a brother somewhere? Whatever happened to the baby? Locked in a closet? k) Okay, Manny beating up Jane at a wedding. How lovely. l) last one- good thing manny is a song writer now. just kidding because this is CRAP.
My day today consisted of making tie dye and sugar cookies. i love mah job. unfortunately, the cookies tasted more like scones because the little ones added in more salt when i wasn’t looking. but it’s cool because they were ghost and cat shaped scones and still enjoyable.
Some mama at Murphy’s gave her baby girl a bottle of pills to play with…. yikes. lsn’t that like rule numero uno of parenting? Don’t give your child a toy that could potentially poison them? Someone needs to go back to ‘Being-a-Mommy-101’
so the good news: my mascara makes my eyes look really good. the bad news: my mascara DOES NOT COME OFF. i mean NEVER. i am losing my eyelashes, all of them, from trying to scrub this shit off my face. so: lesson learned, never buy this product again.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out; Don’t give up though the pace seems slow— You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than, It seems to a faint and faltering man, Often the struggler has given up, When he might have captured the victor’s cup, And he learned too late when the night slipped down, How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out— The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far, So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit— It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.